Someday I'll Get It Right
by BoandNora-ItsOneWord
Summary: Nora's world crashes down around her when a domino effect of lies from the people closest to her make her feel completely alone. An AU series that focuses on Nora and Bo and the people that surround them.


**Episode One: House Of Lies**

She heard him come home just after three AM…Her face was turned to the wall as she listened to every sound with acutely adept familiarity. She counted down the seconds in her head…she knew exactly when he would enter their bedroom, stone faced and worn out from the days he spent playing hero. It hurt her to admit but she also knew exactly how he would smell…the perfume left on his clothes unintentionally but still noticeable to a woman who knew him as well as she did. He wasn't cheating on her…of that she was sure. But it was the _only_ thing she knew with certainty anymore. He had done _so_ many other things that any normal, sane woman would consider wrong…and she did consider him wrong…so very wrong.

She wished she could say that she hadn't began to resent him…that her tears hadn't dried in the pillow too many times before when she was waiting for him to come home safe so she could stop worrying…And if this had been the first time, she would have swallowed her pride and given him the benefit of the doubt…except those nights were becoming more and more regular, and her pride was taking too many beatings...She was simply done being okay with his bad decisions.

She slipped into the bathroom in the dark, letting the cold water splash silently over her face, washing her tears down the drain… She could also sense the bitter taste of bile building up in her throat, a symptom of the stress. She refused to give in to it.

When he silently turned on the bathroom light, she was standing right in front of him…the cold fury still lingering in her chocolate brown eyes. She couldn't help but wonder what he would say to her. _As if there could ever be an excuse for his actions._

" _So good of you to finally come home,_ " she snapped. "Never mind the fact that you missed a family dinner that you _promised_ you would be home for…When did you start breaking promises Bo?"

She narrowed her eyes in him in a gesture that was both pleading and unforgiving. She wanted him to make this up to her but she didn't believe he could.

"I'm sorry Red," he said.

She almost looked broken then…symptoms from too many apologies and not enough follow through. "You said that the last time too…funny how nothing ever seems to change." But it wasn't funny at all. She was watching her marriage crumble.

"What do you want me to say Red," he asked?

" _I want the fucking truth Bo. Why do you bother apologizing if you are just going to repeat the same damn thing over and over again? I don't think I believe you anymore."  
_  
"So now you've stopped trusting me…because I missed a few dinners?"

Rage boiled in her belly until she just couldn't take it anymore… She walked closer to him…her eyes piercing into his…a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"When did you become such an ass…you know damn well it isn't about the missed dinners…It's about _her_ …"

"So you're jealous?"

He felt the sting from her hand cracking against his cheek as she slapped him…hard. When he looked up at her again, the pain seeming to echo off the walls, he could see the chill in her eyes as she spoke. "No Bo, I'm pissed."

* * *

The lights had been off for hours now, the wind howling just outside her bedroom window. Only minutes had passed but the vacant look in her eyes as she clung to the tiny pink quilt made it seem even longer. Her arms were still aching to wrap her daughter in them, hold her as close as she was now holding her blanket…

She wasn't crazy but sometimes she still felt as if her baby girl was with her…As if the quilt she now held was really just Willow sleeping. She could still sense the sweet, earthy ambience left behind by her daughter's quilt…And She didn't want that aroma to ever leave this room. She wanted to memorize every detail so she would never forget that she had been here…even if it had only been for three short months.

She began to quietly weep as she thought about the way Willow's tiny fingers curled around her own or the way her heart fluttered at the sound of her short, shallow breaths as she slept. Her eyes were blurred with tears as she closed her eyes…picturing her baby soft skin as she held her, her sweet, innocent laugh that had just begun to develop, her heart stopping smile. Too many wonderful things about Willow she held close to her heart…and too many she would never get to experience.

"It's not fair," she cried silently, as the phone started ringing. She was still so numb that she didn't want to talk to anyone, but she could never ignore a call from her little brother so she answered stoically, hoping he couldn't hear the tears in her eyes as she spoke.

"Hey Matthew," she answered, as cheerful as a broken hearted woman could muster.

"Hey Rachel," Matthew said. "I'm sorry to bother you so late but I didn't know who else to call."

"You know you can always call me anytime, day or night. That's what big sister's are for," she said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm worried about mom…I need your help."

"I'll do whatever I can. What's going on," she asked, hoping he couldn't read the way her voice was now cracking?

She hadn't told her family about Willow's death yet but she knew she would have to eventually. She couldn't keep pretending that she was just sleeping. It was ironic that she chose that excuse; because that was why Rachel hadn't known her baby was dead…she just thought that little Willow was sleeping. The guilt was burying her alive…and she had enough of that wondering if her past drug use had caused this…they had assured her, of course, that when a child dies from SIDS, it is just an accident. Somehow that didn't seem to make her feel any better…Accident or not, she still had no baby to hold in her arms. Willow Nora was gone forever.

"Mom and dad are fighting right now Rachel…It's really bad…"

"Is this about that woman you told me about before," she asked, "The one that works with your dad?"

"She's ruining everything…and I don't know what to do Rach…I don't want my family to be broken up again."

Rachel didn't want that either. It had taken her mother and her step father too long to find their way back to each other. She wouldn't let some manipulative bitch ruin that again.

"It's okay Matthew. I'm going to help you," she said. "I'll take the first flight out in the morning."

"You will?"

"Where else would I be when my family needs me? I love you little man."

"I love you too Rach."

After Rachel and Matthew said their goodbye's, she booked her flight and climbed into a hot shower… It would be another sleepless night for her…this time for very different reasons.

* * *

Viki's hands began to sweat as she looked at the letter in her hands. It was printed in the same neatly decorated envelope that any letter with no return address would be…no indication that it would be sent from a dead man.

 _And yet something in the pit of her stomach told her that she knew exactly who had sent it…_

"Whoa," Hank said, as he walked into the coffee shop. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She nearly dropped the letter when she looked at him…And she wondered if her face conveyed the complete and utter fear she was feeling. "What are you doing here this time of night," she questioned instead?

"Why are you so jumpy," he asked?

She looked down at the letter as Hank came to sit at the opposite end of the table. She knew she could probably lie but what would be the point. The truth was that she could probably use some common sense right about now.

"I'm afraid that this letter is from Mitch," she finally said. She could see the confusion written all over his face and she had to admit that it sounded just as crazy to say it.

"I know it doesn't make sense but I've learned not to question things when all the clues are tugging at my gut."

"And what exactly is your gut telling you?"

"That somehow, whatever is in this letter is going to change lives."

"Then maybe you should open it," Hank said?

"Yeah, maybe I should," she agreed.

She could feel a cold chill run down her spine as she began to open it.

* * *

"Don't you think you should at least _talk_ to her," Natalie asked her big brother?

Kevin had been sitting in the same place for hours and he wasn't speaking…not to any one of them. She supposed she could understand the need to hide from his pain…except she wasn't really sure it was in his best interest.

" _And say what exactly," he snapped? "She doesn't want to talk Natalie. She doesn't want to do anything anymore."_

"She lost a child Kevin…but so did you. How is living in two separate continents supposed to help either of you?"

"Maybe it's too late for help," he said sadly. "Maybe the best we can hope for is another day of survival."

She didn't believe that…She didn't really believe that her brother could just be done with his marriage…with a woman who he fought so hard to be with…but she saw the vulnerability in his eyes when he looked at her…the silent pleading…She wouldn't get anywhere with him tonight.

"Will you at least let me cook something for you," she asked? "You look too thin."

That got a small chuckle from him. "Now you sound like mom," he said.

"Well sometimes mom actually knows what she's saying."

She draped an arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "I'll be back soon. You can stay as long as you need to."

She was almost to the door of the guest room in her tiny little apartment when Kevin reached for her hand…"Natalie," he said, and her eyes locked on him, the silence saying more then words ever could. "Thanks," he finally said. "Thanks for knowing when to let it go. I'm not trying to shut you out…really, I'm not. "

"I know…but I hope that you know that if you ever change your mind, I'll be here to listen…night or day. You're my brother and I love you."

"I love you too Nat."

And without another word Natalie was out the door and Kevin found himself alone once again…the haunting pain from Willow's death his only companion.

* * *

She stood against the railing of the docks and closed her eyes. She had already placed the 911 call…she had calculated exactly how long it would take for them to get there. Inez Salinger was nothing if not meticulous. All that was left now was to create the situation.

It had been so easy obtaining the numbing drug that would deaden her senses as she took the bat to her skull…she had studied up on domestic violence…she knew head injuries were the most common symptom. She also knew exactly how hard she had to hit herself so she wouldn't cause any permanent damage.

She stepped off the ledge as she heard the sirens wailing…it was too late to turn back now.

* * *

" _Don't stand there like a deer in the fucking headlights Bo_ ," she snapped. "You can't honestly tell me that you're _surprised_."

He didn't speak then…What could he possibly say to change how she felt?

"I didn't want to believe it Bo. Do you know how many times people were looking at me like I was just so stupid for believing in you…for thinking there was just no way you could ever be interested in her…but I don't know…I haven't heard one word of denial…maybe the joke really _is_ on _me_."

"Do you really believe that Red…after everything we've been through…do you really think I would cheat on you?"

"What I believe is that we have been here before…and it hurts me to look into the eyes of the man that I love and not see the same values anymore…I thought we were on the same page Bo… I was willing to give up everything for you…including my reputation…and I don't regret that…I really could care less how people look at me anymore because I would _choose you_ every time…I just wonder if you are _always_ going to choose _me_ …I certainly don't _feel_ like your wife right now…I feel like an outsider in my own marriage…"

The tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him…he knew how much she hated to cry in front of him…he hated it even more that he had been the reason…but just as he was about to ask her what she meant, the phone in his pocket was ringing.

"Let me guess…It's your _girlfriend_. What is it this time? Did she break another manicured nail?"

"Nora…"

"Let me make this _real_ easy for you Bo…If you answer that phone _one_ more time when I am _talking_ to you…If you choose _her_ crisis over _our_ marriage _one_ more time then I am _done…I am so fucking done with you._ It's her or me. I have been disrespected for the last time."

She left him to stare at the ringing phone as she walked out of the room. She wasn't a woman who gave ultimatums but when she had finally reached the end of her rope, it was the only thing left to try. It was all or nothing now.


End file.
